Our Miscarriage Story

I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching in the past few years. It seems to be that we take a look at our lives when something major happens.

My husband and I recently, in June, went through a miscarriage. I was 11 weeks along and had no signs anything was wrong until it was. I’ve had one healthy pregnancy so with that came the regular ultrasounds. I knew what a good ultrasound was like and should look like. The second I saw the ultrasounds I knew things weren’t right. It also is not cool when the ultrasounds technician doesn’t say a word the entire time and you are sure you know the news is going to be the worst thing you can think of. Then you proceed to wait and wait and wait which feels like 10 hours until the doctor can come in and confirm your nightmare. They sent me home with words that my body will take care of everything.  We went back to the lake house.

We were on vacation at “the lake” my happy place when all of this started happening. Day one of vacation I started having some bleeding and was sure something was wrong but convinced myself to take it easy and this can be normal. The next day, I couldn’t do anything but think about it and so we went to the hospital for that ultrasound.

Just to set the scene of where we are, The middle of nowhere! 7 hours from home, an hour from the nearest hospital (the size of a Target) and on your drive there is no cell reception at all.

That afternoon I started having a lot of pain.. I can’t believe nobody told me that this would happen. For hours I laid in horrific pain with no pain medicine, screaming for my husband to rub my back as my mom chased around our 18 month old.  During those hours of pain I requested that my husband called to make an appointment to be seen by an obgyn.

So we made an appointment first available (tomorrow morning at noon). This appointment with this obgyn was 1.5 hours away in Duluth Minnesota.  We left our son with my Mom and Tyler and I made the drive. We pulled up to the office and the pain started again. This time I was in public. I was trying so hard not to make any noise or scare the other women in the waiting room, but they quickly realized I needed to go into a room. The obgyn came in to see me and gave me an exam. She said we have to get you to the ER for a D&C surgery. So about twenty minutes later I am in a hospital bed praying for some pain medicine to make this stop. About an hour later I finally got some and was waiting for the surgery. The next few steps moved quickly and I was knocked out and in surgery.

 Sometimes we get knocked off course. Our trajectory changes and life brings along a new path you hadn’t seen coming. We lost a baby that day and it was unbelievably hard. Waking up out of surgery and remembering that I wasn’t pregnant anymore was something that totally confused me. How? Why? Are you sure? Now what?

These questions we ask ourselves, we may never know. For me, I believe that God knows. He knows the how and why and that his timing is always better than mine and that calms me.  It doesn’t make it easy, but it calms me.

So my husband and I returned after that surgery to my happy place. It looked different that day. It looked slightly familiar to a time when I walked in those doors once before after loosing my Dad. You see, the lake house was my Dad’s happy place and this house on the lake has continued to bring healing to me.

You know that phrase “ Heaven’s a little close by the lake” well than this is still my happy place.

It’s weird. I didn’t get any cards or flowers or cookies after my miscarriage for sympathy like when my Dad passed away. I think part of it is because a lot of people didn’t know or don’t know until they are reading this. But I think too, there is a weird shameful aspect that our society has put onto having a miscarriage. It isn’t my fault. I asked a million times if I did anything wrong, is my body wrong, what did I do to mess this up? The Answer, Nothing!

At first, days after it happened I was ashamed. I didn’t want people to know. Then the more I thought about it the more I knew that this is part of who I am today and if you want to know me or understand me and who I am you need to know my story. My story comes with some awesome times and it comes with some hard times. But it is my story and it has made me to be who I am today.

So I guess I sit here and tell this story for anyone who knows me, who wants to know me, who has been though a miscarriage, who may some day go through one and for anyone who wants to tell your true story. You can do this! It is what made you, you!

Kristin + Dave: St. Anne Catholic Church, The Westin Chicago Northwest

She never stopped smiling! Most brides are happy on their wedding day, but this was different. She was the happiest I have ever seen her. Kristin is a long time friend of mine and it was my absolute pleasure to see her find Dave. Kristin is someone who would do anything and everything for you. She is always putting others before herself and it was so awesome to see Dave and her be celebrated for the whole weekend!! She so very much deserved this magical day!! Dave and Kristin gathered family and friends for an amazing ceremony at St. Anne Catholic Church in Barrington, which is our hometown, and continued the celebration at The Westin in Itasca. This wedding was full of love, laughter, great speeches, delicious food, gorgeous flowers, lots of candy and tons of dancing!  It was such an honor helping to brand Kristin and Dave's wedding day with my stationery.

This branding experience consisted of the whole package! Save the dates, wedding invitations, table numbers, escort signs, the menu, programs, welcome hotel tags, thank you cards, and the lighting crew even used the "H" I designed, from their wedding invitation, in lights shinning in the tent all night! It was so awesome! Everything went together and branded their special wedding day. 

Thank you Kristin and Dave for trusting me with your vision and letting me be part of your wedding day! To many many many more!!!

 

For more images check out the blog post at Kristin La Voie Photography.

CEREMONY: St. Anne Catholic Church RECEPTION: The Westin Chicago Northwest STATIONERY/PAPER: THE ART IN TARA  FLOWERS: Ashland Addison  PHOTOGRAPHY: C Tyson Photography DJ and LIGHTING: Luxe Productions VIDEOGRAPHER: NightOwls Media  WEDDING CAKE: Lovin Oven Cakery

Katie + Michael: St. James Chapel and The Drake Hotel Wedding

Check out this beauitful Chicago Wedding. Featuring the St. James Chapel and Drake Hotel. A wedding straight out of a fairytale book.

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Veronica + Kevin: Destination Orlando, Florida Wedding

We are ramping up for a new wedding season and reminiscing about last years wonderful weddings! 

I had a baby three months ago, which is why it has been so long since my last post, but I have been waiting to get this wedding to you and hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Take a look at this stunning destination wedding in Orlando, Florida. The ceremony took place at Corpus Christie Catholic Church in Celebration and the reception was held at the Omni Championsgate Orlando. 

I know Veronica from college. We both have a love for basketball and played whenever we could find a court. Oh and we were the intramural champions 2 years in a row!! Enough about the glory days...Let's get to the good stuff.  Veronica and I reconnected in Baltimore just before she got engaged to Kevin and I was delighted to have her back in my life. After a quick get together, I could tell how much love they had for each other and how happy they made each other.  Soon after that get together they were engaged! Veronica contacted me about designing her invitations and I couldn't have been more excited! Together we came up with some really great elements to make each piece personal and meaningful and bring the wedding day together.

I just can't get enough of all the beautiful unique details from her engagement ring, to the JMU and UNC ice luge, bells of Ireland flowers, and THAT DRESS!

Have a look for yourself all the greatness that was Kevin and Veronica's Wedding day!

For more images check out the blog post at Lindsay Collete Photography

CEREMONY: Corpus Christie Catholic Church, Celebration RECEPTION: Omni Championsgate Orlando, FL  WEDDING PLANNER: Blush by Brandee Gaar STATIONERY/PAPER: THE ART IN TARA  FLOWERS: Lee James Floral Design PHOTOGRAPHY: Lindsay Collete Photography  DJ?LIGHTING:Soundwave Entertainment VIDEOGRAPHY: Creative Cinema  WEDDING DRESS: By Marisa

Cass + Mike: Bluemont Vineyard Virginia Wedding

Cass and Mike (Diddy) joined forces at The Bluemont Vineyards in Virginia. This venue had views for miles and miles, but that didn't compare to the stunning bride. Cass had it all going on! She looked amazing!!!

I loved the dusty rose/purple colors of the bridesmaids dresses with an accent of deep purple for the maid of honor. What a perfect color combo for a vineyard wedding!!! There were touches of burlap and lace throughout the decor and it came together so perfectly. All the right pieces came together to make a really remarkable day for Cass and Mike. 

These two have so many fun adventures to go on together and I couldn't be happier for them.

Congratulations! You two are so perfect for one another.

CEREMONY/RECEPTION: The Stable at Bluemont Vineyard  Bluemont, VA WEDDING PLANNER: Amy Thunell CATERING: Joan Wolford at Savoir Fare STATIONERY/PAPER: THE ART IN TARA  FLOWERS: Terri Powers PHOTOGRAPHY: The Madious  (all photographs above are The Madious, except the image of the wedding invitation)  BAND: Empty Pocket 

Tara + Glenn: Orchard Ridge Farm Wedding

"I choose you. And I'll choose you over and over and over. Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I'll keep choosing you."

Tara and Glenn experienced loved at first site when they met a little over three years ago. They had an immediate connection that they just couldn't quite explain. Together they love exploring new restaurants, coffee shops and keeping busy with friends and family. I am so excited for you to share in the unforgettable moments of their special wedding day!

They got married at the same venue my husband and I got married! I loved seeing the space transformed differently to fit Tara and Glenn! Everything was so beautiful and everything went as planned thanks to a trusty and amazing wedding planner, Taneel. 

Congrats Tara and Glenn!! What a beautiful celebration of love!

 

CEREMONY/RECEPTION: The Pavilion at Orchard Ridge Farms Rockton, Illinois WEDDING PLANNER: Favor*  CATERING: Henrici’s Catering  STATIONERY: THE ART IN TARA  FLOWERS: Event FLoral  PHOTOGRAPHY: Mandy Blair Photography  (all photographs above are Mandy Blair Photography, except the images of stationery)  DJ/PRODUCTION/LIGHTING: Luxe Productions  VIDEOGRAPHER: White Tree Studios